


Bravado

by Queenoftheswamp



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-15 01:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7200335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenoftheswamp/pseuds/Queenoftheswamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inuyasha AU in which Kagome goes off to college, nursing a broken heart, and a need to move on from the intense feelings she has for her best friend. Inuyasha’s relationship with Kikyou chases Kagome into the arms of Kouga, a track star with a soft spot, leaving Inuyasha confused and hurt. Will Miroku's endless "wisdom" be enough to enlighten Inuyasha? Rated for depression, language, alcohol, drugs, maybe a lemon later on?, etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. University Girl (Intro)

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at a multichapter Inuyasha fic. Would appreciate any comments!

The mirror had not been moved from her wall since middle school, the last time she had gone through a change which required her to re-evaluate all too much: her heart, her identity, her self. What did it mean to be Kagome Higurashi? Did she sacrifice who she was for love? Was love what mattered most to her? 

Once, she believed that. But then, aren’t all girls taught that love is what comes first? Unfortunately, boys are not taught the same. 

Kagome flattened her skirt against her thighs, thinking of a little green skirt she had worn not so long ago. It was the middle of a Saturday, and the day was cheerful and bright and everything a summer day should be. Kagome had not left her room, however, and for all she cared it was a dismal winter night. 

The skirt she wore now was longer than the one she recalled, actually covering her to mid-thigh, and was a soft black-velvet that she thought projected her new self wonderfully. University student she was, university student she would be for at least four years, and she would no longer resemble the silly teenager she had been. The matter of moving to university was not as simple as advancing in her studies, so much as advancing on her path, finally figuring out all she needed to know in order to own her future. 

“Kagome!” The girl in question tugged at her loosely-fitted white blouse, which was tucked neatly into the skirt. Her black stockings bunched up just above her knees. Older though she was, she knew how to look cute even when serious. She was nineteen, and she was ready for the next step. Carefully she stuck her fingers behind the mirror, which was stationed on the inside door of her closet. She expected the mirror to hold fast to the door, but instead it peeled away easily, just as an expected change often does. Once thought to be an impossible task, now something menial, and easily conquered. 

“Yes mom,” Kagome called back, not quite to her normal full volume. She held the mirror close to her face, inspecting the small worry lines that had appeared, the sullen frown on her usually cheerful face. She’d been packing for weeks, preferring to take time with each item she stowed away, remembering the importance of the memories which attached themselves to everything she owned. If she did not reflect now, she would be overcome later, something she had learned the hard way in her high school years. 

“Do you need anything from the store?” The easy question surprised Kagome. Maybe having a broken heart made everything serious. Maybe she was forgetting that her life had never truly been complicated. 

“I’m all set,” Kagome bit her lip and moved her eyes across the room. She owned so little, but everything bore so much. Every misplaced sock had its own story. She stuck the mirror on top of a stack of miscellaneous items, allowing herself to absorb her own melodrama with as much grace as she could muster. 

The emotionally-boggled teenage girl fell to her bed, as she had done so many times before, falling back on the pink comforter in a distinct ‘I’m upset and need to be left alone’ position. 

The I-beg-to-differ knock on her window was, if she was being honest with herself, very much expected and only partially desired. But what else was new.

“Kagome,” the annoyingly sharp pronunciation of her voice would have normally sent her into a rageful spiral. As if she was the one interrupting a much needed session of mourning. 

Kagome sat up, grumbling as she unlatched her window. A pair of bare feet hit her carpet without a sound, and a pair of golden eyes were assessing her before she could get a word out. A strong hand caught her chin, not unkindly, but the familiar furrowed brow and the scowl that accompanied it told her all she needed to know. 

“Why are you acting like this? You’re the one leaving.” Inuyasha was never one for pleasantries. Kagome growled and pushed the half-demon boy away. She hated how comfortable he was, coming and going at all hours of the day, always bugging her, always annoyed, but never so annoyed that he would ever leave her alone. His loosely-fitted jeans and red tee shirt were once the most comforting sight she could behold. Now she only thought of a girl who also wore red, a girl who fit snugly on his arm, a girl who hated Kagome. 

“I’m allowed to be sad about it, Inuyasha,” came her cold reply, a different answer to a different question. Defiantly Kagome resumed packing, even though the half-demon boy had seen her curled up only seconds before. She lifted the top of a suitcase and began aggressively stuffing in her clothes, paying no mind to how poorly they were folded. Inuyasha always made her careless. 

“I know that. You just seem a little more sad than I’d expect ya to be.” He threw himself comfortably down onto her bed, a small frown on his face. 

“Well that’s my business.” The suitcase was too full now, but Kagome kept stuffing, a new, unidentified feeling fueling her movements. 

“It’s mine too!” 

“No.”

“Yes. We’re best friends.” 

“So?” 

“So I care about you, dammit!” He was sitting up then, relieved in some twisted way that she was still bickering with him. It felt normal. It felt like them. 

“Where’s Kikyou?” He winced. Bringing up Kikyou was Kagome’s way of shutting down arguments, flipping the switch, hurting him even. Kagome knew why she did it, hated herself for it. He never knew how to ask her why she always brought up Kikyou in the midst of an argument, though, and it was honestly something he would probably never figure out on his own. 

“She’s reading to the children at the library. You know she does that every Saturday.” Kagome could have laughed at how ludicrous that sounded. Of course Kikyou was reading to the children! She was so kind, Kagome knew that better than anyone! Why would perfect Kikyou ever do anything unkind to anyone? (Kagome was grinding her teeth.) 

“Oh of course,” Kagome grabbed the zipper of the suitcase and jerked it down, effectively wedging the sleeve of her favorite sweater into the teeth of the zipper. “Fuck.” 

“What?” 

“I screwed up my suitcase.” 

“No, not that - ”

“What?”

“What was that, ‘oh of course?’” 

“INUYASHA!” Kagome exploded, pushing her suitcase away and turning on the boy, who was looking so confused, as usual, that Kagome could only deflate and press a clammy hand to her forehead. He was just so stupid. 

“I don’t get you,” he huffed, but he looked sad, like he really did want to understand. Normally he would have his own retort prepared. Kagome abandoned her suitcase and got up, sitting next to her companion, leaving a space between them that never would have existed before. 

“I’m sad that things will be different, but things are already different, ‘Yasha.” Kagome met his eyes, pleading him to understand without her having to embarrass herself. I love you. She hates me. She wants me gone. I should’ve told you before. 

“I guess so,” he said weakly. 

“See? I’m just not as happy here as I used to be. Maybe going to university will help me… figure stuff out.” 

“But…” Inuyasha fiddled with a loose thread on her comforter. “I, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.” 

His confession warmed her heart. But she had heard this before. She had almost succumbed last time, only to watch him go back to Kikyou, to see Kikyou’s threatening, deceptive smile over his shoulder, aimed at her, cautioning her not to come too close… 

“What time does Kikyou get done at the library?” Kagome tried to keep her voice neutral. 

“Three… I’m taking her out to dinner after…” Kagome nodded. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow, at noon. Will you come later to say goodbye?” 

He took too long to respond. He was wincing again. She felt a familiar ache. 

“That’s why I’m here now, Kikyou is, uh, spending the n-”

“Let’s say goodbye now then!” Kagome flung her arms around Inuyasha quickly, hoping the hot rush of tears would be stifled easily, that he wouldn’t smell them - 

“Kagome, are you taking these?” Souta was at the door suddenly, looking unbothered at the pair hugging, the two of them surrounded by suitcases and boxes. When he looked closer, however, he recognized a change. Inuyasha’s face was red, Kagome’s eyes shined too brightly, and the hug itself was full of tension. Souta tightened his hold on the books in his hands. 

“I better finish packing,” Kagome told Inuyasha weakly, releasing him. “Enjoy your date with Kikyou!” 

The boy let his silver hair fall in front of his eyes, watching as Kagome approached her brother, discussing the books with much more animation than strictly necessary. He knew she was hiding from him, and this wasn’t the first time. The problem was, she had never left him before. They had always had time to resolve whatever conflict had arisen, and she had always forgiven him for his obliviousness, for his tactlessness, for the hurt he brought on - 

When Kagome had turned back to look at her friend, he had already gone, window closed as if it had never been open.


	2. Time to Forget

University is both too much and too little, Kagome decided immediately. Everyone is loud and the professors are strict and the library is anxiety inducing, honestly. A month and a half later, she felt completely neutral, but was still grateful for the newness that university offers. Being away from Inuyasha, she decided, is exactly what she needed, had always needed. At least, that is the mantra she repeated every time she checked her phone, eyes avoiding the messages that just kept coming. _Kagome, please just talk to me. I don’t know what I did._

The relationship between Kagome and Inuyasha is everything to Kagome, always has been, always will be. They had met when Kagome was only fifteen, an energetic, optimistic girl who feared nothing and everything at once. She would go rock climbing, skinny dipping, would wink sweetly at boys whose eyes lingered on her for too long. She was absolutely fearless, if you asked her friends and family. Propriety be damned, Kagome lived for her self. At the same time, she feared rejection, could never speak her true feelings, and allowed her temper to control her actions. 

In fact, the only reason Kagome even met Inuyasha was because she had been too curious, and then too angry, and then too persistent. Afterwards, she could not be without him, and he could not be without her. And because of that, because of their intensity, their unlabeled, unidentified, intensity, they never knew what to call one another, and settled unanimously on ‘best friends’. 

The night they met had been different, though. Something about the meeting was different from everything that followed. Maybe it was because it was the only time they’d never felt insecure around one another, the only time they hadn’t denied themselves the pleasure of being open. Then again, that might’ve been the sake. 

(flashback)

While she was a hard working student and while she had a small group of close friends, Kagome had been anything but a social butterfly. Although she was plenty brave and headstrong, Kagome was a dreamer, and preferred to keep to her own world most of the time. Parties were too big, too loud, too much for her, to be quite honest. She much preferred a good book to a loud crowd of people. But they happened, occasionally, and when they did, her friends were bound to find ways to push Kagome into attending. At the time the reason had been Hojo, Kagome’s all-too-innocent suitor who wanted so badly just to be around Kagome. They had dated briefly and the result was a series of uncomfortable dates neither one of them looked fondly on later. 

The party itself was made up of high schoolers, but Ayumi had an older brother as well as Hojo, and well, the opportunity presented itself, and before you could said “Higurashi” Kagome found herself attending said party. She felt her mistake upon arrival; there was lots of cheap beer and sake, and because she had showed up late with Hojo, she had missed the initial sampling, and felt too out of place to request her own illegal beverage (she was fifteen, after all!). The music was quiet, neutral, and the chatter meaningless, frustrating. 

“OOOOOHH, Kagome!” squealed Yuka, grasping Kagome’s arm a little too tightly. “Isn’t this exciting?” Eri and Ayumi gigged behind her. There were streamers on the walls and couples on the furniture, but it felt more like a party a parent would put together than a bunch of students. “Hi Hojo!” Yuka gasped. Kagome wiggled her arm free and immediately felt regretful about showing up in the first place. She would not be drinking any of that sake, that was for certain. As it turned out, almost everyone at the party was in high school - and almost done with high school - and Kagome knew that if she wanted her friends to get some safe and sound, someone would have to be responsible. Kagome eyed the can of beer in Ayumi’s hand wearily. 

“Looks like uhh, quite the party,” Kagome shifted her eyes to Hojo, but he was already gone. His brother, a much older boy with a much louder voice, was in the process of dragging Hojo over to a table where a game of cards was being played. A lot of cheering erupted from the table when the drunk onlookers spotted their friend’s little brother. Hojo was looking back at Kagome, begging for help, but she only waved at him cheerfully before turning away. 

“Nightmare,” Kagome mumbled. She turned to her friends. “How much sake have you girls had?” 

“Three cups each!” Eri announced proudly, showcasing three tally marks on the back of her hand. “And Ayumi found herself some beer!” Kagome nodded severely. The girls looked at Kagome expectantly, as if waiting for her to request her own drink. She felt the pressure even without the words of encouragement. 

“I’m going to… get some water,” Kagome decided. “Don’t move.” Kagome turned away from her flock of giggling friends, silently angry at them for pressuring her to come. Didn’t they know how weird it was to be hanging out with all these older high schoolers? Not to mention the fact that only a few of those high schoolers were girls… 

Kagome found the kitchen, which was fortunately significantly quieter and only held a smaller group of girls. She recognized none of them and avoided their circle, feeling uncomfortable around people who were just out of her age range. She couldn’t blame the high schoolers for partying, but hated that she had found herself there, on a date with a boy she’d been waiting to let down for months. She grabbed a plastic cup from a stack, moving to the sink silently to fill her cup - 

“Inuyasha and Kikyou broke up? Wow, I could’ve sworn those two were in it for the long haul!” Kagome attempted to ignore the tidbits of gossip that she kept catching, but every girl in the kitchen seemed to be trained to one conversation, and she flushed when she realized a few of them were whispering together, their eyes on her. “Yeah, apparently Kikyou cheated! And when Inuyasha confronted her, they had a huge fight, a very public one, too!” 

Kagome sipped her cup of water thoughtfully, peering over the edge at the girls. Thankfully only one girl seemed all that bothered by Kagome’s presence. The rest were either too tipsy to notice or just didn’t care. 

“But isn’t Inuyasha here tonight?” 

“He is! But I haven’t seen him in a while, maybe he left?” 

“No, I think he just got too drunk to stand up! He’s a total bad boy!” 

They giggled conspiratorially, more of them noticing the middle school girl with the water, and looking over with interest. Flushing, Kagome fled from the kitchen, heading down the hall in the opposite direction she’d come from. 

What a disaster… 

Rounding the corner, Kagome realized the party itself, while being quite loud in some parts, was actually only made up of a handful of high schoolers. She had found a small sitting room that, while lit, was completely free of party guests. The room was cozy and made her sigh out with relief. She wouldn’t have to attend the uncomfortable party after all. Kagome sank onto the sofa gratefully, sipping her water, wondering how much time she would have to spend in the sitting room.

And that was the first time she saw Inuyasha. Looking around the room with vague interest, Kagome realized she was not alone. There was, in fact, a boy slouched in one corner, seemingly napping in an uncomfortable position. He wore only a red tee shirt and loose-fitted jeans, and his feet were bare. His head was slumped forward, an entire bottle of sake grasped in one hand. A couple of empty cans were on their sides, a ways away from his unconscious body. On his head sat a set of perfectly cute dog ears. 

“Oh!” Kagome gasped. While she was aware that hanyous did in fact attend her school, she had never really met one, or even spoken to one. A lot of the time they kept their, ah, non-human “parts” hidden, so as not to draw too much attention to their blood status. Of course, full-fledged demons did not attend public school, but Kagome knew there were hanyous that preferred to live among humans. 

She just never figured she would run into one. 

“H-hello?” Kagome approached the boy with sudden interest, eyes on his dog ears. He was indeed asleep. His mouth hung upon just slightly, and he was snoring quietly, almost cutely, his chin hanging close to his chest. He was not much older than Kagome, she guessed, though he could definitely be older technically, she figured in hanyou years he probably only had a year on her. 

“I think I wanna… touch them…” Kagome thought she must have been in a trance. What else could explain how she freely allowed herself to smooth her fingers across the poor boy’s ears, reveling in their softness, as if he were a common house pet! A strange drunken noise came out of the boy, and Kagome suddenly felt heated, awkward, and immediately attempted to fix her mistake - too late. 

“AHH!” The boy was awake then, and she had never been more humiliated. The bottle was flung up, and the liquid hit Kagome full in the face, right into her mouth, which had been hanging open in shock. The boy attempted to right himself, but only succeeded in keeping the bottle upright.

“AGH!” Kagome jumped back, startled, coughing and spitting. The boy was blinking rapidly, obviously in some sort of drunken stupor. 

“What’re you doin, Kikyou? Here to finish me off?” He rose to his feet, glaring at Kagome with so much hate that she was completely baffled. He shook the bottle at her as if brandishing a sword, and she only gaped at the boy stupidly. 

“What did you call me?” she demanded, using her sleeve to wipe the remaining sake from her face. “Kikyou who? I’m Kagome!” 

“Oh…” A slow smile appeared on the boy’s face, stretching into a lazy grin. “Thought you.. thought you were somethin’ else…” 

“Someone?” Kagome prompted, wondering if the boy needed help far beyond what she could offer. 

“Y-yeah…” the boy stretched, pulling himself off the floor. “What, what were you doin’ to my ears? They’re… sensitive.” Kagome had the decency to blush. 

“Uhh, sorry about that! And I’m sorry about this, Kikyou person.” 

“S’fine, was just too sleepy to figure it out. You smell totally different.” Kagome squinted, realizing the boy had very bright, very beautiful golden eyes. She was hardly disturbed by the question, more so by her own actions - was he part dog demon, then? 

“My, smell?” she finally asked, her cheeks darkening even more when she watched him realize she was staring. 

“Yeah,” the boy shrugged. “You smell, you smell kinda nice. Hey… you can have some of my sake if you want, I kinda stole the bottle. Parents always keep the good stuff hidden.” 

(end of flashback) 

Looking back on it, Kagome should have known it was a disaster to begin with. Falling for a guy in the midst of his breakup with his girlfriend was just not a great situation to be in. Never mind that he had mistaken her for his ex. Never mind that he had stolen an entire bottle of sake for himself.

Never mind that his ex was no longer an ex. 

Kagome shook her head gently as if to ease her self out of those memories. She was in the library, it was a Tuesday afternoon, and she had several hundred pages of reading due for the week. Already. 

“God damn it…” Kagome stared down at the book in front of her. The Lake by Banana Yoshimoto. She could hardly get through a page without being reminded of Inuyasha. She was a literature student, she always figured she would be, but she never realized how hard it would be to enter college with so much emotional baggage that she was forced to connect to her every day studies. Everywhere she looked, tragic love stories were blossoming both inside and outside of reality. Students were hooking up while she recited Shakespearean passages about love and deceit and jealousy. She would need to learn to be a stronger person, to have nerves of steel, to be less God damn sentimental if she was ever going to get through her studies.

That was part of why she came to university, anyway. 

-

Kagome’s roommate was someone both more sweet and more inquisitive than Kagome anticipated. Little Rin, a girl hardly pushing five feet, a girl who liked to wear colorful kimonos and sang to herself every day, seemed much more girl than woman to Kagome. Yet she seemed to know everything about Kagome’s predicament, and had only known her for a very short time. Most of what she had learned about Kagome she had guessed. Some information Kagome had willingly shared. Kagome would be lying if she said she disliked the girl, though; something about her was comforting, and she was definitely useful for advice. 

“So you met Inuyasha at a party?” Rin was cross-stitching on her bed, legs folded under her as she skillfully maneuvered the small needle. Everything about the girl was graceful. Kagome, meanwhile, was lying face down on a bed that was covered in books she needed to have finished read already, sighing loudly and often. Pages stuck to her face and pencils poked her uncomfortably. She had yet to find a hobby that would keep her grounded, and now she knew she would never get the chance to read for fun while she was a literature student. 

“Yep, and I was only in middle school,” Kagome turned over, side-eyeing Rin as she crushed books in her attempt to be comfortable. “I actually haven’t been to a party since, believe it or not.” 

“Maybe that’s a solution!” Rin dropped her needle to clap her hands together. “Kagome, what happened last time you went to a party?”

“I had a miserable time?” 

“No, the other part.”

“I found a passed out hanyou and fondled his ears?” 

“And?” 

“And I went on to fall in love with him and have my heart ripped to shreds?”

“Yes! I mean uh, yes to the first part of that. Maybe if you start going to parties you’ll find someone else. Think about it, one party, five years of being in love? Think of what another party could bring you!”

“Well when you put it like that,” Kagome huffed, sitting up in her bed to collect all the books she’d left. She groaned at the sight of them. She’d never have time to read them all!

“How come you never went to parties in high school?” Rin resumed her cross-stitching. “It sounds like you were popular and had lots of friends! I was home schooled, I would’ve loved to have had that experience!”

“I guess I spent most of my time with Inuyasha,” Kagome confessed, finally finished with stacking her books. She carried them over to her desk, promptly slapping them down next to a secondary stack of books. She rubbed her eyes, hoping they would disappear.

“He must be really kind,” Rin offered, her eyes growing shiny. “Is he really handsome?” 

“Kind? Only in my dreams. Handsome? Well…” Kagome blushed, then decided the question could not answered in her current state. “Maybe we should consider venturing to some parties. We are at university, after all.” Rin winked at Kagome, noticing her slip. 

“I’ve never been to a bar, either,” Rin sighed dreamily. “We could make a weekend of it! Try some new things, meet some people. I’ve only really talked to you since we got here, Kagome. And I like you a lot! I just, I’ve never had friends, you know? I want to… meet people.” Rin’s voice grew soft, and she turned away, gazing out the window wistfully. The window sill was adorned with a collection of potted plants, which contrasted nicely with Rin’s sunshine-yellow quilt. Kagome smiled at Rin’s back. She was the sweetest person Kagome had ever met. No wonder she’d been home schooled.

“I haven’t really met anyone either. Only problem is, we need to hear about a party to go to one.” Kagome sighed. “Well, we can still go to a bar! That could be fun. There’s at least one on campus…” Kagome bent over, stretching her legs. They felt cramped from her many hours spent in the library. “But it’s only Tuesday! I think I’m going to try out the gym, this stress is getting to me and that might be the healthiest way to deal with it.” Kagome turned to her closet, eyes sliding over her cell phone, which was crammed between stacks of books. The screen had lit up briefly. 

I need to talk to you. 

Kagome flipped her phone over so she couldn’t see the screen, moving to grab her gym clothes from the shelf and her iPod. 

“Let me know if you come up with any party schemes!” Kagome practically ran from the room, heart clenching. She hadn’t spoken to Inuyasha in weeks… 

“Will do!” Rin chimed, eyes still lingering out the window in innocent bliss.


	3. Clueless and Breathless

Twenty-year-old Inuyasha stretched out on the grass beneath him, sighing, pulling his arms behind his head in anticipation of finally finding peace for the first time that week. A gentle breeze shifted the silver bangs in his eyes, and he blinked with irritation and shoved them away, growling as he adjusted himself. The hillside he frequented, located at an equidistant point between Kagome Higurashi’s home and his own, had always been a calm place in which he could indulge himself in bliss and quiet. Something was irritating him today, however; a kink in his neck, a bruise on his thigh, and the absence of the girl who had once laid with him on that same hillside.

He could not for the life of him get comfortable.

Opening one eye, the boy pulled a shabby flip phone from his pocket and proceeded to attempt to turn the volume up, but realized with a flash of shame and self-pity that the phone had been turned up to full volume, and had been that way for days previously. He wondered, with a touch of optimism, if maybe the damnable thing was broken, then thought better of it.

His best friend was ignoring him. Not for the first time and definitely not for the last time, but she had never been so out of reach, so impossible to contact. The young hanyou squinted at the blue, cloudless sky above him, and growled at the perfect sun, so taunting in its splendor. Everything felt unnatural, from the birds in the park to the empty space that seemed to stretch on forever. Everything was too happy and bright for his taste. Even his favorite ramen, which he’d attempted to eat just before coming to the park, tasted like sand on his tongue. He dropped the phone on the grass, frustrated.

“Why won’t she talk to me?” he asked himself, the question cutting through him. He shuddered gently, sitting up and glaring at his phone as if to punish her in return. He flipped the phone open and stared at his unanswered messages. He hadn’t begged her to respond - he was too proud for that - but he was becoming desperate. He’d had a hell of a couple months, waiting for… something to change. And it had, just not in the way he’d expected. 

It’d started that first night, his brief goodbye with Kagome knotting his stomach and making him clumsy and distracted. He’d tried to say goodbye, but he just wasn’t made for that sort of thing. He settled for checking in on her one last time, but even that had felt so painful, seeing her dismantle the small space in which they’d spent so many hours in one another’s presence. There was too much emptiness, too little of her left behind. And he couldn’t say goodbye to Kagome, because she wasn’t really leaving him, was she? That hadn’t been evident to him, at least not at first.

And then Kikyou had stood him up. He’d stayed at that table until the restaurant had closed, and several bowls of sake and a bottle of pinot noir later, he’d wound up at Miroku’s, plastered and moaning on the couch, not even bothering to recount the story to his lecherous companion. Not that he needed to. Miroku seemed to understand, and had only joined Inuyasha in drinking rather than bothering to console him. Miroku had expected this behavior from Inuyasha, as he’d known the hanyou for years and knew his connection to Kagome was an intense one that could not be easily forgotten. Based on the absence of his on-and-off longtime girlfriend Sango, Inuyasha figured Miroku wasn’t much better off that nights. 

Still. A hangover and several days of contemplation later, Inuyasha had decided Kagome was enjoying university life. She had never been great at staying in touch with people, especially when she was having a good time elsewhere. She often forgot to tell her family where she was going and was known for being flighty and scatter-brained, something her mother had forgiven long ago. But he had thought their friendship was different. He felt indescribably hurt by her silence. Maybe her phone had broken, maybe she got bad service - but he knew, when he remembered their empty goodbye, that there was more to Kagome’s silence than a simple accident. 

There was always something more with Kagome. 

“Damn it,” Inuyasha hated feeling helpless more than anything. Kagome had a way of disabling him with a look, sinking his heart with a pout, knocking the air from his lungs with flirtatious smile. She could hurt him so much more than she realized, and she was. 

Kikyou was being strange too, of course, but that was nothing new, nothing earth-shattering at least. Since they had renewed their relationship she had been distant as well… she would appear at strange times, seeking him out, then would withdraw when he responded in turn. He allowed her to control their incessant tug-of-war, knowing she had her needs and her reasons that she would never allow him to understand. She hadn’t even apologized for flaking on their date, and he hadn’t asked for an apology in turn. She had become impossible to predict, and what was more, it was almost as if she’d forgotten they were together again. She used him, simply put, and he was too much of a baka to do anything about it. The glass smiles and blank eyes only made him pine for Kagome more. 

Kagome. Inuyasha tried not to feel the emotions that burned through him every time he thought of her. He thought of her smile, so beautiful it rendered him speechless at times. She hadn’t been smiling at him lately, and he’d noticed, but for her to suddenly disappear from his life altogether…

He needed advice, he decided begrudgingly. Unfortunately, he only had three friends, and Kagome was at the top of that list. Maybe, just maybe he could talk to Sango, if Miroku could keep himself busy and not tease him too much, but Inuyasha knew he would not be able to ask for help with a clear head on his shoulders… 

“More drinks it is,” he sighed, opening his phone again and selecting Miroku’s number. He wasn’t beaten yet. 

\-----

Kagome knew she was out of shape, but hadn’t expected that running a few miles would be so hard on her. The first mile wasn’t too difficult, as she hummed along to her favorite pop artists, the blood pumping through her veins really made her feel renewed and healthier than she had in weeks. That second mile had started to hurt her, however, and when she realized she hadn’t brought water, she determined she could do one more mile without the stuff - that was until she staggered off the treadmill, suddenly clammy to the touch, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She clung to the wall dumbly, grateful for the emptiness of the gym. Where’s that water fountain? She tried to steady her breathing, feeling like such a baka. 

“Whoa,” a boy appeared at the stop of the stairs above the treadmills, looking down on her with concern over the railing. He was tan and muscular and definitely had a couple years on her, but when she saw how cute he was Kagome immediately cringed and attempted to right herself, humiliated before he’d even introduced himself.

“Ah - ” Kagome straightened, averting her eyes. “Any idea where, uh, the water fountain might be?” 

The bronzed boy was already skipping down the steps, however, nearly flying down them with grace and agility that Kagome thought she’d never seen before. She realized much later that he had been trying to impress her from the start. 

“Drink all of this,” he ordered, placing a clear blue bottle in her hands. His hand lingered on her wrist, and he seemed to be checking her pulse, but as Kagome gulped down the water gratefully she couldn't help but color at his attention. 

“Uhh, thank you.” Kagome dropped the bottle from her mouth, gasping lightly at the relief. She had been close to passing out, she realized. 

“Running off some steam?” the boy inquired, eyes meeting hers. They were a bright, piercing blue, and his hair was held up in a high pony. The seriousness of his tone was not lost on Kagome, nor was the rising flirtatious smile as he examined her. He had stopped checking her pulse but was still holding her wrist as if they were in the final stages of a first date. Kagome hadn’t received that kind of attention since Hojo, and her complexion betrayed her, darkening even more due to his boldness. 

“You could say that,” Kagome mumbled, bottle of water hanging uselessly at her side. “I’m Kagome.” 

“Kouga, third year, track star, and single,” he declared, settling on a full smirk. Kagome became increasingly aware of her spankies and tank top, as well as the amount of sweat they had absorbed. 

“First year and uh, amateur runner.” Kagome wish she could sound just a little more composed, but this Kouga seemed to like her as a damsel-in-distress. “You must frequent the gym a lot then, huh?” 

Of course, Kouga let out a loud bark of laughter at that, and Kagome wanted to disappear into the floor. 

“You could say that,” Kouga winked at her. “Remember to bring water next time, alright, girlie?” He released her wrist and turned towards the stairs. “Kagome. I’ll remember that name.” 

Kagome blinked hard. She reached for a towel from a nearby rack, willing herself to be more calm and cool. She would probably never see Kouga the Track Star again, but he’d left quite the impression on her. 

Her walk back to the dorm was slow. Her legs wobbled unevenly, as she’d forgotten to stretch after her encounter with Kouga the track star, and she was too embarrassed from her incident to pay a whole lot of attention to the sights around her. She wondered briefly if Inuyasha would be upset.

And what right would he have? a bitter voice inside her spoke up. He doesn’t own you. He doesn’t even like you like that. Why should he deserve your whole heart? 

“He doesn’t,” Kagome decided out loud, toying with her student ID as she sidestepped a couple picnicked out in front of one of the first year dorms. “He deserves absolutely nothing from me if he’s going to treat me like his property!” 

He hasn’t actually done anything wrong lately, though. You’re the one ignoring him. What do you have to be so upset about?

“Oh shut up, how would you know anything?” Kagome stopped when she realized the couple she had sidestepped was watching her talk to herself. She turned away and hurried up the hill her dorm was on. 

“I’m never going to get invited to any parties.” 

\-----

“She left without saying goodbye?” Miroku sipped at his beer, forcing himself not to wince at the poor quality of the drink he almost never sampled. “That doesn’t sound like her.” 

The boys were in Miroku’s apartment, enough alcohol to knock out a small army surrounding them in bottles and coolers. Miroku’s place was party central, as far as anyone from the nearby university was concerned, but more often than not it was Miroku’s close friends who visited privately, both for the booze and the “wisdom” that Miroku offered - namely, how to woo the women they were interested in. Inuyasha hated talking to Miroku about relationships and women because he considered himself to have very different ideals from his lecherous friend, but Miroku’s longtime girlfriend Sango had also been absent, and Inuyasha had very few friends to turn to (no other friends in fact). Plus he was desperate. 

“I didn’t really give her much of a chance. I had a date with Kikyou that night.” Inuyasha crossed and uncrossed his arms, eyes on the collection of empty cans next to him. “Keh. Not that it mattered.” 

“And how is the fine Lady Kikyou?” Miroku closed his eyes and downed the rest of his can. It was a Friday night, after all, and he was twenty years of age. Inuyasha snorted, not for the first time that night. 

“As fine and as distant as always.” 

“Well, you know my views on the topic.” 

“She needs me,” Inuyasha fumed, glaring at Miroku. “What can I do?” 

“Does she need you, Inuyasha? Or does she need someone to ignore and treat poorly so she can feel better about herself?” 

“Keh. What do you know.” 

“That she has stood you up multiple times in the span of a few weeks. That she hates Kagome and has only ever spoken badly of her. That, while beautiful and kind, she has not once thought of your needs since renewing your relationship.” 

“She knows I’m fine without - ”

“Inuyasha, you are in a bad relationship, borderline abusive.” Miroku sighed and placed his beer can on his bedside table, next to an empty bottle of cheap sake. “If you don’t want to do anything about it that is your decision. Just know you cannot be happy with that woman unless she decides to put effort in - which she doesn’t.” Miroku slid off his bed, joining Inuyasha on the floor. “Trust me. I dated many women before Sango, and this is not uncommon behavior for a grieving partner. Sometimes, when a person has been hurt, they forget that they aren’t the only ones who feel pain. Sometimes, when a person decides they have been wronged, they make it a point to wrong everyone else, just to prove a point. She may not be in a good place to be with you intimately.”

“What are you saying,” Inuyasha mumbled, cheeks reddening. “I wanted to have this conversation with Sango,” he added quietly to himself. 

“Kikyou may or may not have cheated on you. No one really knows what happened. But clearly something else went on with her that caused her to resent you, and even once she forgave you, she could not entirely forget that betrayal, imagined or otherwise… Plus, you’re really not being fair to poor Kagome.” 

“You think - wait, Kagome? What does she have to do with - ” 

“I think Kikyou has motives for ‘keeping you’ that may not be healthy or wise.” Miroku waited for Inuyasha to get angry, as he always did when Miroku or Sango spoke poorly of Kikyou, but for once the drunken hanyou seemed to be speechless. He nodded mutely, eyes downcast, and mumbled something unintelligible. Miroku noticed the dark circles around his friends eyes, and realized quietly that Inuyasha was hurting a lot more than he let on.

“She is much more affectionate in public than in private.”

“What?” 

“When she knows Kagome is looking, she kisses me whenever she gets the chance.” 

“I see.” 

“She puts me on display. Makes sure everyone knows who I belong to. Then when we’re alone…” 

“Go on.”

“It’s like she’s looking straight through me. Like I’m barely there at all.”

Miroku considered Inuyasha’s words, feeling only pity for his friend, who had loved the older woman for so long. For as long as Miroku had known him, really. Miroku adjusted his rumpled shirt, fixing the color of the midnight-blue button-down. 

“Then I guess we should go to the bar.” Inuyasha sighed with relief. The band-aid had been ripped off, the conversation had ended, and he finally had some perspective - 

“Ahh,” when Inuyasha stood up a rush of blood caused his vision to grow blurry for a moment. “Miroku…” 

“Yes, my oblivious friend?” 

“Why is Kagome ignoring me? Why does Kikyou want to hurt her?” Miroku, who had chosen that moment to drink down more of his beer, gagged and began to cough, pounding his chest and shooting Inuyasha incredulous looks. 

“The second question answers the first, Inuyasha. Did you really think you could have them both?” 

“What?”

“Right,” Miroku offered an arm to Inuyasha, who pointedly ignored it as he headed to the door. “Bar, then. We are only twenty once!” Inuyasha flattened his ears but nodded, his mind reeling. He would visit Kagome, he decided, before the night was over he would find her and apologize - 

“Let us drink and make merry!” Miroku cheered, following after. “Plus I need a few more drinks in me before I crawl back to Sango and apologize.” 

“What did you even do?” 

“I’m not entirely sure, but I know it has something to do with my, ah, little problem with getting distracted by her.” Inuyasha snorted. 

“Idiot.”


	4. Hearsay

The bar was decently full for a Wednesday, with a crowd of regulars from the nearby university filling most of the seats, and a line of the local alcoholics frequenting the counter. Inuyasha and Miroku found their way to the last remaining booth in the corner, shrugging off their sweatshirts immediately. 

The bar was called August Moon and was as typical as they come. The music was generic, there were two TVs airing two different sports stations, and the tables were never quite clean. Still, being that the crowd was mostly youthful and groups were lining up to play pool, the ambiance was good. The bartender had bad eyes and let practically anyone in if they were brave enough to flash their ID, which meant any courageous freshman could get themselves a drink even if they weren’t yet twenty. The place itself was a little out of Inuyasha and Miroku’s way, but they were good at traveling efficiently, and besides, they both had girls on their minds that they knew to be around those parts.

Not that either of them had really admitted to having an ulterior motive for being there. 

The bartender nodded to Miroku upon entry, his bald head shining under the dim light. Miroku was the kind of guy bartenders always greeted, albeit a little uneasily. 

“Shall I get the first round?” Miroku asked, eyes moving to the small group of university girls nearby who were smiling at him and whispering. Inuyasha nodded, scowling when he caught what the girls were saying. 

“Do you even want Sango to forgive you, or do you just like torturing yourself?” 

“Of course I do, Inuyasha! But as I have asked a thousand times before: why should she care who I look at if she won’t even trouble me for a single date?” Smiling tiredly, Miroku went up to the counter without another word. Inuyasha felt a twinge of guilt that he easily shrugged off. Miroku knew he was a lecher, and he knew that Sango was aware of that fact as well. His problems were entirely his own fault. 

“Whiskey sour!” Inuyasha yelled at his retreating back, grumbling as he slid down into the booth. He was already well on his way to being drunk, but his dark mood would not allow him to cut himself off, at least not yet. He had a small trill of hope going through him: the bar was on the outskirts of Kagome’s campus, and while the chances of running into her were slim to none, Inuyasha knew if he got drunk enough, he would have the courage to go see her… 

Inuyasha stretched out, listening casually to the conversations going on around him. A few of the girls had noted his ears appreciatively, not an uncommon conversation for Inuyasha to overhear for certain. Others in the bar were talking about how drunk they were, or how much they wanted to find a hook-up before the weekend had begun… Things Inuyasha had never understood, nor did he care to - 

“Ohhmygosh, is that Kouga?!” the same girls who had liked his ears were buzzing excitedly, sipping at their beers, nudging each other as a scruffy, dark haired boy entered the bar with two equally scruffy companions. Inuyasha immediately smelled the youkai on them despite his drunken state, and scoffed. Wolves. 

“He’s so hot,” a girl with a head full of curls said, cheeks aflame. 

“Unattainably so,” mourned her straight-haired friend. 

“Whiskey sour with extra lemon,” Miroku’s voice interrupted Inuyasha’s eavesdropping to deliver him his drink. Inuyasha smelled the wolves drawing closer, and his scowl deepened when they sat down at a nearby table while the girls trilled mindlessly. Not that he was any better off; pretty much everyone in the stuffy bar was in a mindless state. 

“Keh,” Inuyasha gulped down about half his drink, flicking his ears. The sour taste made him more alert, but he knew that was only a temporary feeling. He was drinking too much, too fast. 

“What’s up with you?” Miroku took a shallow sip of his gin and tonic, catching sight of the youkai that had entered the bar. He shrugged good-naturedly. 

“Wolf stench,” Inuyasha commented. “Loud university students. Kinda drunk. Take your pick.” 

“Could it have anything to do with the fair Kagome being nearby?” 

“Did you see her?!” Inuyasha sat up quickly, his drink sloshing in his hand. 

“No, I’m just aware that she and Sango are both enrolled at the nearby university. Is that not why we chose this bar?” 

“Had to have just been you. I hadn’t even thought of it.” 

“Inuyasha, you’re a terrible liar.” 

The whiskey sour was gone and Inuyasha’s world was permanently tilted. 

“I might have had enough to drink,” was his only comment. Miroku nodded in agreement. The boys sat in silence for a while, before Inuyasha’s face suddenly flushed crimson, his eyes darkening as well.

“What is it - ”

“Shh.” Inuyasha turned his ears in the direction of the youkai. 

“She’s beautiful,” the ringleader was saying, feet up on an empty chair. He was holding two beers and smirking confidently as he alternated between the two, as if it were a competition that he had already won. “Silly girl didn’t bring any water to the gym, so I used that as an excuse to go to her rescue and chat her up. Quite the flirty type too, I definitely need to run into her again and invite her this weekend.” His companions were both snickering with delight. Inuyasha frowned… 

“You said her name was Kagome? That’s such a pretty name, Kouga!” You’d have thought Kouga had named the girl himself, the way they were gloating. 

“Mhm. Definitely a freshman. Not afraid to show some skin, either - ”

Inuyasha stood up, face completely red at this point, his fists clenched. Miroku saw a flash of blue in his eyes. 

“What was she wearing?!” Kouga’s other companion with the nasally voice asked. 

“Let’s get some air, Inuyasha,” Miroku said, abandoning his drink. 

Inuyasha took a breath, trying to shake off the alcohol. He would pummel that mangy wolf - 

“Not here,” Miroku answered as if hearing his friend’s thoughts. He grabbed Inuyasha’s arm, earning himself a low growl, but ignored him in favor of easing him out of the bar, grabbing their sweatshirts along the way. He could do nothing, however, to keep Inuyasha from making eyes at Kouga, the ringleader of the wolf youkai. Kouga’s smirk only broadened upon seeing the enraged hanyou. 

“Is that a dog demon I see?” Kouga called out. “Why don’t you sit down for a drink, pal?” 

Miroku all but dragged Inuyasha out of there. 

“What did he say?” Miroku’s eyes were intent on his friend’s face. 

Inuyasha was attempting to regain control of himself. Fuck. He forgot being drunk made him susceptible to changing like that. Stupid. 

“He met Kagome. Wants to, wants to fuck her probably, he was bragging about seeing her - ”

“Inuyasha.” Miroku relaxed. “You should know by now everyone wants Kagome. She’s not going to touch him, she - ” Inuyasha bared his teeth. Miroku’s comment hadn’t helped.

“He said she flirted with him, Miroku!” Inuyasha pulled his red sweatshirt back on over his head, rumpling his silver hair. “I don’t know why I got so mad, but he’s just - he’s disgusting, and going into a bar and talking about her like that - he can’t just - ”

“Are you jealous?” 

“NO.” Inuyasha leaned against the wall outside the bar, trying to regain composure, his eyes on the empty street before him. He tried to summon Kikyo’s face, tried to remember the unreserved smile she only ever gifted him with, because “they loved each other and he made her happy”. 

Kagome’s sad expression while she packed for university was the only thing he could seem to remember in his drunken state. The way she’d glared at him and seemed annoyed at him for lying on her bed, even though he always lied there because it was nice and smelled like her -

“You can lie to me all you want, but if you want to be her friend again you can’t get drunk and then try to fight guys in bars over her.”

“I wasn’t going to fight him!”

“Dude,” Miroku sighed. “Do you still love Kikyou?” Inuyasha closed his eyes. 

“I don’t know - ”

“Then you need to break up with her.” 

“You think I should?” 

“Only if you want to, Inuyasha. But if you’re questioning things…” 

The boys stood in silence outside the bar for a while, uncomfortably drunk and entirely clueless.  
Inuyasha spent the rest of the week moping and trying not to look at his phone.  
——

_Two days later… ___

“I can’t believe we’re going to a party! This is going to be so fun!” Rin excitedly flipped through her kimonos, eyes dancing as she admired her collection. The evening was upon them and Kagome had received the invite during her last lecture of the day. Kouga’s friend Ginta had approached her, flushed as he spoke to her. Kagome thought it was cute; he was clearly easily intimidated by women, and seemed to admire her a lot. 

“Lady Kagome, my friend Kouga would like for me to - uh, that is, I would like to as well - invite you to the party we’re having in our den! That’s on Peach St, second floor in the blue house -” 

“Kouga? Oh! Thanks, that sounds great!” 

“My name is, uh, Ginta by the way - I’m on the track team - ”

The poor kid had been wearing a track suit at the time, and had over explained his position as on the track team and Kouga’s friend. Kagome had giggled and thanked him again, complimenting his track suit generously. This caused him to turn bright red and run off, realizing his blunder. 

“It’s probably too casual for a kimono Rin,” Kagome said as she stared into her own closet. “I might just wear jeans.” 

“But Kagome,” Rin turned abruptly, looking concerned. “This is our first party at university! We have to make a good impression. And besides, you have such nice clothes, it would be a shame if you didn’t get a chance to wear them to something besides a stuffy old lecture! We never got to dress up in high school, after all.” 

“That might be true,” Kagome said, turning back to her closet. She looked up at her top shelf and spotted her little stash. “Maybe we should pre game this, to take the edge off.” Kagome’s jitters were driving her nuts. She didn’t even know what made her suggest it - she’d never had vodka before, after all.

“Ooh,” Rin grinned. “Kagome wants to get tipsy? You must be nervous. Is Kouga really that cute?” 

“Something like that.” Inuyasha hadn’t texted her since Tuesday, and while it was unfair of her to expect him to keep texting her while she was in a state of completely ignoring him, she still felt put out without the attention. Maybe he and Kikyou had made up. She couldn’t quite remember if they had actually been in the midst of a fight, but they were always having problems, as far as Kagome could tell.

She could admit to being a little unfair. She could very easily text him back. She remembered the few times she’d seen him drunk, worked up and flushed, but more honest than he usually was… She could use some liquid courage, she decided, maybe then she would talk to him…

Kagome reached up on the shelf and grabbed a shoe box. She opened the box and smiled despite herself when Rin laughed. A 40 oz of vodka alongside about a dozen nips, all Smirnoff. 

“How’d you get this?” Kagome wasn’t yet twenty. 

“Sango’s treat to me pre-university. She thought it would come in handy.” 

“I love Sango,” Rin sighed, recalling the pretty older girl who had visited Kagome the week before. She exuded confidence and strength, although she had seemed a little sad at the time. 

“Can I have a nip?” 

“I’m not going to drink them all myself!” 

And that’s how Rin and Kagome wound up giggling on the floor with half a bottle of vodka* between the two of them an hour and a half later, nips shoved in the pockets of their skirts. Rin wore a purple sweater with a flower stitched on the front, and Kagome a fuzzy blue one. They both wore short jean skirts.

“This is sooo gross!” Rin cried as she capped the bottle, reaching for her bottle of water. The girls both had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard. 

“We can’t drink more at the party!” Kagome declared. “This is the first time I’ve ever been drunk! Ugh, how will I face Kouga?” 

“Really? Your first time?” Rin oo-ed at Kagome, who was now lying flat on her back, looking content. 

“I definitely don’t want more than this tonight. But yeah, first time being drunk. I never had more than a couple cups of sake, and that was only on very special occasions. And there was that one time with Inuyasha…” 

Rin smiled and sat up. 

“You love him a lot don’t you?” 

Kagome didn’t say anything, and thankfully she was already red from the Smirnoff. 

“He was my best friend. We just haven’t felt normal in a long time. I guess going to college changes things.” 

“Not to mention his horrendous girlfriend Kikyou.” 

“She’s not horrendous! She just doesn’t like me…” 

“I can’t imagine anyone not liking you, Kagome! You’re the most likable person ever!” 

“Keh,” Kagome froze when she recognized the sound that came out of her mouth. She stood up, wobbling. “I don’t blame her. Inuyasha has always been protective of me. It’s natural for her to feel neglected.” Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, feeling the bitterness well up inside her… 

“I’m going to drink a whole bottle of water. Then let’s go to the party!” Kagome moved to her desk, eyes on her phone. No new messages. She turned it on, looking back at her old messages. 

_What did I do? ___

Kagome bit her lip. She thought of a thousand snarky remarks she could make, something to set him off, something to have him at her door, yelling and demanding an apology, just like in high school. Kagome wrote out a message quickly and put her phone to the side, afraid to see his response suddenly. She drank her water absently, eyes on her Madame Butterfly poster. 

_You didn’t do anything. I’m sorry Inuyasha. ___

His response came before Kagome had finished sipping her water. 

_Can I see you? ___

Kagome felt her stomach drop as if she had missed a step on the stairs. 

“Ready to go?” Rin asked cheerily. Kagome nodded, shoving her phone in her purse, trying to ignore the stab of guilt she felt. She reached for the saltines on her desk. 

“Yeah, just about. Let’s go party with the wolves.” 

—---

The party was crowded, stuffy, and full of free booze - that is, Strongbows and cheap sake. Kagome and Rin wove through crowds of smoking track kids, holding hands with big drunk smiles on their faces. (They would’ve smiled just as much if they were in a Walmart parking lot - they both were quite giggly.)

“There’s Kouga!” Kagome proclaimed. Ginta and Kouga were leaning against the counter in the kitchen of the flat, matching sleeveless purple running shirts and all. Perfectly bronzed, muscular arms, were flexed casually as the boys chatted over their beers. Ginta saw Kagome first and blushed, nudging Kouga, who immediately straightened up.

“Kagome, how lovely to see you. And who might this beautiful girl be?” Kagome and Rin both giggled as they maneuvered around a couple of sophomores. 

“This is my roommate Rin. We are both very grateful for the invitation, Kouga.” Rin squeezed Kagome’s hand, glancing around at all the people partying. The boy-to-girl ratio was about 4:1, and the music was less than pleasant, undoubtedly dubstep. 

“I’m grateful you both decided to come. Could I get either of you something to drink?” 

“Water for both of us,” Kagome requested prettily. Kouga raised his eyebrows. “We’re both a little tipsy.” 

“Two waters coming right up.” Kouga nudged Ginta, keeping his eyes on Kagome. 

“Ah, Rin, want to see the snack table?” Ginta somehow wound up leading Rin away without Kagome’s consent, leaving her gaping and blushing. 

Kagome felt her hand being grasped by Kouga, and her cheeks darkened as her eyes continued to follow Rin’s disappearing form. 

“Kagome,” Kouga’s voice changed, becoming huskier, almost - emotional? Kagome forced herself to meet his eyes, suddenly very alarmed and very badly needing to find the bathroom. 

“Uh, yes, Kouga?” Kagome felt her hands (yes, he was grasping both of them) go clammy in his. His were warm, almost unbearably so, almost feverish, Kagome thought. His blue eyes were wide with affection, which Kagome felt was unfair. Had she not only spoken to him once before? She felt somewhat queasy, her vision somewhat fuzzy. 

“You are one of the most beautiful girls I’ve met in a long time,” he said, not at all quieting his voice. Kagome felt an audience form around her, and she swallowed. 

“T-thanks Kouga, you’re not so bad yourself!” Kouga laughed heartily. 

“Will you honor me with a dance tonight, beautiful Kagome?”

“Uhhh, sure! But, Kouga, could I - ”

“Ask me anything, Kagome.” 

“Could I, use your… bathroom?” Kouga laughed again and Kagome took the opportunity to slip her sweaty hands out of his. She scratched the back of her head, skirting her eyes away from Kouga’s earnest expression. 

“It’s just down the hall, Lady Kagome. Please, find me when you’re ready for that dance…” Kagome disappeared down the hallway before Kouga had finished his sentiments, feeling eyes follow her as she escaped. So many purple track shirts, so few girls to ally herself with. 

As fate would have it, there was a line for the bathroom. Kagome slumped against the wall and texted Rin where she was, wondering if they should vacate the party sooner rather than later. Kagome wanted to have fun, and wanted to make friends, but Kouga’s near admission of love had her feeling as if she was about to be properly courted. However… 

There was something refreshing about his honestly, she had to admit. After years of trying to get Inuyasha to be comfortable hugging her (he still very rarely would embrace her, and when he did he was often embarrassed and would avoid looking at her) having a boy express his attraction to her so openly was kind of nice. Her self esteem wasn’t helped by Inuyasha’s rejection of her; not that he had technically rejected her, but he basically had… 

Kagome took her time in the bathroom when it was her turn, sitting down and once again checking her messages from Inuyasha. She hadn’t responded to his last one - _Can I see you? _\- But Kagome could feel herself breaking. So what if it made her look pathetic? She missed Inuyasha. So much.__

Kagome went to respond to Inuyasha, taking a deep breath, but before she could type out a response he had already texted her again. 

_Never mind. Have fun tonight with the wolves. Be careful. ___

-—


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Hangover Cure 

Kagome eased the bathroom door open and slipped into the hall, feeling dull and no longer interested in the party. How did Inuyasha know where she was? Was he around? Why did she feel so guilty? 

“Kagome,” Rin had somehow appeared next to Kagome, smiling tiredly, clearly less drunk than she had been initially. “What shall we do?” 

“I’m not really in the mood for much,” Kagome confessed. “I don’t want more to drink and I don’t want to dance - ”

“Thank God,” Rin relaxed. “Can we go? That Ginta guy was kind of being weird. We didn’t really hit it off and I kind of felt like he was just trying to distract me - ”

“Probably because Kouga is trying to court me like a proper Japanese man should,” Kagome laughed tonelessly. “He practically proposed Rin, it was unbelievable. And a little much for me if I’m being honest. I’d get pizza with the guy but I’m not about naming our kids yet.” 

“Understandable!” Rin giggled. “Don’t let him down too hard.” The girls stopped at the end of the hall, in the quietest space they’d found at the party. They winced when a loud storm of cheers erupted from the dance room down past the bathroom. 

“I don’t think I’ll let him down,” Kagome mumbled, feeling her vision go hazy for a second. She slumped against the wall. “He’s still cute. Maybe if I just ask him to take it down a notch and go on a casual date with me - ”

“Whoa!” Rin grasped Kagome’s wrist, looking serious. “You like him like that?” Kagome froze and felt the guilt rise up inside her again. She shouldn’t feel bad! Inuyasha didn’t deserve her heart, she’d decided! Not that he’d even wanted it. 

“I, could like him…” Kagome said carefully. “I could feel something. If I knew him a little better, maybe.” 

“Ah.” Rin paused. “In that case, let him know we’re leaving, and maybe set something up.” 

“Sounds like a plan!” With her trademark false bravado, Kagome set off with Rin to find the ringleader wolf boy, tying up their one loose end before heading back to their dorm for the evening. Kagome went to bed that night with a crumpled up piece of paper in hand, wolf boy’s number printed in a clumsy, drunken slope on the page. 

—— 

Inuyasha was anxious. 

He was up before the sun the next day, tired, red eyes trained to the ceiling of his apartment before he could even think of going back to sleep. His room was dimly lit, and around him, stacks of DC comics and random books that had mostly been gifts from Kagome that he had never read. His room was untidy, of course - identical red tee shirts were thrown about, with similarly styled rumpled jeans accompanying them, and beer cans littered every surface. 

A single poster was hung up, a large picture of a full moon, gleaming down on him. Inuyasha always felt most powerful in the light of the full moon, and Kagome had given him the poster for his eighteenth birthday, telling him she wanted him to feel more confident in himself…

And weirdly, it sort of worked. Although it mostly reminded him of the mentioned girl, and how much she meant to him. 

Groaning, Inuyasha pulled his pillow out from under him and attempted to suffocate himself with it. No such luck. 

Kagome had been out last night, he was sure of it, and he’d heard Kouga’s proclamation in the bar loud and clear. Kouga wanted Kagome, and he was going to pursue her. The problem was, Inuyasha didn’t want to admit to how he had come about obtaining this knowledge: if Kagome knew he was lingering around her campus, she would have so many questions for him, and he knew that it would somehow upset her that he’d been around, catching those tidbits of her life that she would have otherwise shared with him herself… 

He was being an idiot, for sure. But how could he go see Kagome? She had finally answered him last night, only to go back to the radio silence she had been torturing him with, and he was sure that meant he had already earned her disapproval (or Kouga had been distracting her all night, something he didn’t want to admit was a likely possibility). 

Damn, if she had spent the night with Kouga, if his bravado in the bar was any indication - 

“FUCK!” Inuyasha sat up and glared at the rising sun, his window giving him a perfect view of the orange ball ascending into the sky, another day of torment greeting him. Good morning, Inuyasha! Are you ready for more suffering?! 

It was then the hanyou realized he needed to see Kagome. That day, if he could. The more time he spent thinking about how he was supposed to approach her about the great lot of nothing that had occurred between them for the last couple of months, the crazier he felt. She knew what he was like, anyway. She had dealt with him refusing to let her run away from him before. She knew the drill. Kagome wants some space after a yelling match? Tough. Inuyasha could barely hold out for a couple hours in high school before finding the girl and demanding they talk out their issues, even if that meant a loud, angry yelling match that ended in Kagome being cold to him for days after the fact. Sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn’t. But no matter what happened, they had never stopped being friends. And if this went on any longer, Inuyasha was afraid he would lose the most important person in his life. 

——

Kagome wished she was dead. 

She moaned pointedly when Rin handed her a steaming cup of tea and a piece of dry toast. Her head was throbbing and her stomach ached horribly, and as if that wasn’t enough, she kept glimpsing Kouga’s phone number, barely legible on a crumpled piece of paper, half-tucked under her pillow - a grim reminder of the embarrassing night she’d had. 

“Why aren’t you hungover?” she asked Rin bitterly, eyes heavy as she stared at the offensive paper. 

“I drank two liters of water before I went to bed! I tried to get you up, but you were out cold almost as soon as you touched your bed…” 

“Typical.” Kagome loved sleeping more than most things. It wasn’t a surprise that Drunk Kagome had passed out without a thought. 

“And you’re still wearing last night’s outfit, except, you seem to have lost the pants.” 

“Thank you, Rin,” Kagome mumbled, sipping her tea carefully (it was true she was only wearing the cozy blue sweater and her pink panties). Her comforter was wrapped around her head and hung off her shoulders, giving her a hungover holy woman look that probably was a lot more shameful than cute. The tea soothed her, but she knew she would need to down a couple gallons of water to make up for the dehydration her body had suffered. 

“Also, your phone has been beeping since six…” 

“What?” Kagome’s head shot up, effectively causing her tea to spill onto her bed. She didn’t even notice, eyes greedily seeking out the phone that was across from her, sitting innocently on her desk. 

“Wonder who it is,” Rin grabbed the phone and handed it to Kagome with a wink. “Anyway, I’m going to head to the library to catch up on some work! Good luck with your hangover, Kags.” Rin grabbed her bag from the floor and scurried out, leaving Kagome to fumble with her tea and phone. 

_Are you up?_

_Kagome, I NEED TO SEE YOU TODAY._

_Respond immediately if you’re alive._

_I’m taking your silence to mean you’re in trouble and need me to go to you immediately._

__“What?!” Kagome sat up quickly and felt her heart thud dangerously in her chest. No, nonono, Inuyasha could not see her after two months looking like some hungover idiot, in bed with her blanket wrapped around her like she was a fucking babushka -_ _

__A resounding knock on the door made her open her mouth to scream, but before she could, Rin was peeping in, all giggles._ _

__“She seems to be conscious! Kagome, someone’s here to - ”_ _

__“Let me in then,” came an irritable voice. Kagome gasped and put the tea down, working to cover herself without knocking over her toast. It was like her prayers had been answered, but at the exact wrong time._ _

__Before she knew it, Inuyasha was standing before her, fully alert and fully dressed, while she was a crumpled, hungover mess on her bed, unable to reach her tea, body swathed ridiculously in her fluffy pink comforter._ _

__“Uhhh, hello,” she offered him, wincing. Her head was still pounding, to top it off._ _

__“Rough night?” he asked stiffly, crossing his arms. Kagome stared at him blankly, then became aware of Rin, still peeking in. She at least had the decency to look guilty._ _

__“I’ll just uhh, be at the library!” she popped out of the room after Kagome’s eyes lingered on her for half a second too long. Kagome flushed when she heard the sound of the door locking from the other side. Inuyasha continued to glare down at her despite the loud click of the lock behind him._ _

__“You’re up early,” Kagome said conversationally. She attempted to heave herself up - and failed._ _

__“It’s eleven o’clock, Kagome,” Inuyasha said, seating himself at the end of her bed finally, his eyes finally shifting to the rest of the room. He hadn’t been around to see the transition she’d made. The room was decidedly less cozy than Kagome’s old room, but the familiar pink comforter and the wall decorations still made him feel better. Kagome was still his best friend, two months of silence be damned._ _

__“Yeah, well - ”_ _

__“Did you go out and party with the wolf youkai?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“And how was it?”_ _

__“Fine, thank you.”_ _

__“Did you drink too much?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“That’s stupid of you.”_ _

__“Look who’s talking.”_ _

__“Do you like Kouga?”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__Kagome fumbled more with her blanket, wondering how Inuyasha knew so much of what had gone on. She wasn’t surprised, he’d probably gathered information just from eavesdropping, but it irritated her that she knew nothing of what he’d been up to and he knew everything about her life._ _

__Inuyasha wasn’t glaring anymore, but something about him was still tense, was still frustrated. His eyes suddenly would not unlock from hers, his lips tight. A single fang poked out of his mouth._ _

__“You heard the question,” he huffed after a moment of intense staring. “I’m just wondering if I have to fight off any dangerous wolf youkai before you do something stupid - ”_ _

__“He’s not dangerous, he’s just passionate,” Kagome emphasized, finally yanking her arms out of the comforter and grabbing her toast. She recalled the night before with embarrassment, but she found she couldn’t bring herself to tell Inuyasha the truth: Kouga had mortified her. “For your information he is one of the only friends I have made since I got here, and I’ve been quite lonely. And anyway, how do you even know so much about what I’ve been up to?!”_ _

__“I, uh, overheard some talk… but you could’ve seen me, ya know, instead of sulking about having no friends! Hell, you could’ve answered my texts - ”_ _

__Inuyasha broke off and just looked at her again, turning his whole body to face her, pleading she understand without him having to give a speech. Kagome swallowed thickly and stared at her toast._ _

__“I needed space. I’m sorry.”_ _

__“Well, it hurt, Kagome.”_ _

__“I didn’t know what to do. You were busy with Kikyou and I wanted… space. To figure things out.”_ _

__“What does that mean?”_ _

__“You know what it means!”_ _

__“I really don’t!” Kagome sighed and quickly finished her toast in a couple of bites. Her stomach was settling down, but her head still hurt. She laid back down, Inuyasha be damned, and closed her eyes. She rubbed the space between her eyebrows, willing the ache to go away._ _

__Kagome felt the weight of a body settle next to her. She opened her eyes, staring into two pools of gold, her chest feeling warm._ _

__“What does it mean, Kagome?” Inuyasha’s voice was softer then, and Kagome didn’t know what to make of him, barging into her room, lying down in her bed with her as if no time had passed at all, asking so many questions…_ _

__“How did you know where I live?” she asked instead of answering his question._ _

__“I’ll tell you if you tell me.”_ _

__“Tell you what?”_ _

__“What you meant, damn it! What were you trying to figure out? Why did you run away from me?” Was she imagining it, or did he sound about as heartbroken as she felt? Kagome bit her lip when she saw that he had flattened his ears, and try as he might, he couldn’t hide the flash of pain that flickered across his face._ _

__Fuck._ _

__“Kikyou hates me, Inuyasha. It’s not exactly a secret. I couldn’t… I can’t, deal with that kind of pressure. I don't want to compete for your attention anymore. You’re… more important to me than that.”_ _

__“Kagome…” Oh, Gods. Kagome almost yelped when she felt her best friend’s arms wrap around her, and then she remembered, she wasn’t wearing pants under the blanket!_ _

__“…there is no competition. You’re my best friend. I need you, can’t you see that?”_ _

__Kagome closed her eyes, resting her throbbing head against his chest. She remembered the looks, the kisses she’d accidentally watched them exchange, the uncanny ability Kikyou had to appear at the exact moments Kagome thought she could have Inuyasha to herself… interrupting moments like these, when Kagome was curled against him, wishing she could have his whole heart…_ _

__“I’ll stay with you, Inuyasha.”_ _

__“What?” They did not break away from one another; the hug was needed, was necessary in fact, but Kagome almost split in half when she heard the hope in Inuyasha’s voice. He loved her in some way, even if it wasn’t the way she wanted him to._ _

__“I’ll stay with you. Even if it means dealing with the fact that Kikyou hates me, I will stay.” Inuyasha buried his face in her neck, not speaking, just focusing on the scent that haunted his dreams, kept him up at night with longing. Being with Kagome was like going home._ _

__Inuyasha shifted his arm under Kagome, his hand brushing against something that felt like a piece of scrap paper. He snatched it, freeing his arms, eyes wide as he read the name, then darkened, suddenly, slowly taking in each digit._ _

__“Must’ve been a great party,” he said finally. Kagome got up slowly, keeping the blanket wrapped around her. She watched Inuyasha’s face as it darkened, his hand closing on the paper._ _

__“It wasn’t, really - ”_ _

__“Don’t see how it couldn’t have been - ”_ _

__“It was kinda crowded, everyone was a little too drunk - ”_ _

__“ - yeah, I noticed - ”_ _

__“I met him at the gym, he’s pretty nice - ”_ _

__“ - y-you’re not going to call him, are you?!”_ _

__“I don’t know, he mentioned getting lunch - ”_ _

__“Lunch?!”_ _

__“There’s a good ramen restaurant he likes - ”_ _

__“ _Ramen?! _”___ _

____“It could be fun - ”_ _ _ _

____“A-As if!” Inuyasha flew to his feet, eyes wild as he glanced around the room, as if searching for signs that the stinking wolf shit had been present._ _ _ _

____“What’s your problem?!” Kagome jumped to her feet, pant-less and angry, and attempted to snatch the phone number back from Inuyasha, who seemed to have a death grip on the offensive scrap._ _ _ _

____“I can’t believe you’re thinking of going out with this guy!”_ _ _ _

____“I get along with him! He’s sweet!”_ _ _ _

____“He reeks of wolf shit!”_ _ _ _

____“He does not! And what does that make you?!”_ _ _ _

____“FUCK, Kagome!” Inuyasha took a step closer to her, dropping the paper on the ground as his hands found her hips, bare except for a small pink strip of cloth - “Please don’t, I can’t handle, I mean, he’s disgusting - ”_ _ _ _

____“…Inuyasha?” Kagome stared up at him, Kouga forgotten as she took in the heat coming off the hanyou’s body, as she felt his hands tighten on her bare skin._ _ _ _

____“Kagome…” Inuyasha stopped sputtering, realizing what he had done, what he wanted to do. Kagome’s lips were parted slightly, and she smelled so fucking good, and she was staring at him in the exact way he was afraid she’d looked at Kouga. But she couldn't have, she was looking at him, and suddenly he mattered to her, was still important to her, was still her best friend…_ _ _ _

____“I… I have to go,” Inuyasha was out the door before Kagome could blink, and she sighed, eyes dropping down to the phone number that had caused such an emotional reaction from her hanyou. He wasn’t hers, she told her fast-beating heart as she retrieved the number. She couldn’t keep wanting him while he belonged to another._ _ _ _

____She would move on, even if it meant learning that Inuyasha truly was only her friend. There were other fish in the sea - other canines in the forest, it seemed._ _ _ _


End file.
